


Bloodstained Memories

by JayWithoutTheE



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Anger, Angst, Best Friends, Betrayal, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, References to Mac And Charlie Die, Sad, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love, Wedding, childhood friends to lovers to enemies (kinda)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29594031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayWithoutTheE/pseuds/JayWithoutTheE
Summary: It is probably the most important day in Mac´s life. He had dreamed about this day for a long time now. Charlie had dreamed about this day since he was a child, but he had never imagined that it would turn out like this. They have an uncomfortable talk that should´ve happened years ago.[TW: discussion about suicidal thoughts (very briefly mentioned, not graphic)]
Relationships: Charlie Kelly/Mac McDonald, Mac McDonald/Dennis Reynolds
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Bloodstained Memories

**Author's Note:**

> "If you wanna move ahead, you have gotta leave me behind"  
> \- Just As Big, Twice As Swollen  
> The Front Bottoms

"Just leave it, Frank. It looks fine." 

Charlie rolled his eyes as Frank slapped his hands away and attempted to fix his tie for the second time this day.

"Stop fidgeting with it! Just hold still. Don't you wanna look good today? You know how important this day is for Mac."

Charlie exhaled tired as his chin got pushed up.

"Yeah, I know. But I couldn't give less of a shit about all this."

He made a pause and let out an annoyed groan.

"I just want it to be over."

Frank let go of Charlie´s tie and looked at him confused.

"What? What the hell are you talking about? He made you his best man, isn't that great?"

Charlie slowly sank his head and looked down at Frank. His eye started twitching.

Frank gasped shocked as he suddenly grabbed him by his shirt. His eyes widened as Charlie pushed him away.

"No, it's not fucking great, okay?!" he yelled out. "Nothing's great about this!" Charlie ran his hand through his hair, picking at the strands.

Frank stared at him bewildered. He took a few deep breaths before he carefully stepped towards him.

"Charlie..."

Charlie´s eyes widened as he realized what had just happened. He put his hands up in defence and took a step towards Frank.

"I- I'm sorry, Frank. I shouldn't have pushed you. I´m sorry. It's just—"  
He sighed and pushed a hand through his hair.  
"...I don't want to be his best man."

Frank pulled his eyebrows together.

"What are you talking about? You´re his best friend." he asked confused.

Charlie looked at the ground and put his hands into his pockets.

"I want to be more than that..." He made a pause and nervously kicked his feet. "I should be the one standing there, you know? Not Dennis."

Frank stared at him perplexed. He went silent for a while until it finally clicked.

" _Oh._ "

Charlie broke his gaze and slowly looked back up to him.

"I'm sorry Charlie, I never knew... I mean, I _knew_ , but not about you and him."

Charlie softly shook his head and waved him off.

"It's okay. We never really talked about it."

There was a short moment of silence between them. 

"Can I- can I ask you..." Frank paused. "...since when?"

Charlie´s face lit up. He rubbed his neck and chuckled quietly.

"All my life."

Frank smiled and nodded softly. He turned around and pointed over to the door at the other end of the room.

"I- I told him to get in here to show you his outfit, I hope that was okay. I didn´t know about you two, I can tell him not to come if you—"

Charlie swallowed hard and cut him off.

"N- no, it's okay, it's okay. After all, I still agreed to be his best man so—"

The door opened and Mac walked in. His eyes were sparkling, Charlie had never seen him this happy before. It made him feel sick to his stomach.

"Heyoo, bitches! Look at this!"

He slowly turned on his heels, his arms spread wide, showing himself from all angles.

Charlie´s jaw dropped at the sight.

Mac stopped rotating and turned to Charlie, a big smile resting on his lips.

"So, what do you think, bro? Don't I look awesome in this?" he smiled wide and pointed at himself.

Charlie put his hands into fists. He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath.

"Bro, are you okay?" Mac asked concerned.

Charlie slowly breathed out.

"How dare you?", he whispered through his teeth.

Mac took a confused look over to Frank who just awkwardly stared back and forth between Mac and Charlie.

"Uhm, I- I gotta go, Dennis wanted me to- yeah, I gotta- I´ll leave you alone.", he stuttered and hastily rushed out of the room.

Mac watched him close the door and turned back to Charlie.

"What´s going on here? What are you talking about, dude?", he chuckled confused.

Charlie tried to breathe against the tightness building up in his chest. His knuckles turned more and more white as he dug his nails into the side of his thighs.

"How dare you wear the dress I bought you all these years ago? To marry _him_? After all we´ve been through that day." His voice was vibrating in his chest.

Mac dropped his smile.

"Charlie, listen—"

"I was ready to leave _everything_ behind that day. Our friends, our families, even the bar. And it was okay for me, you know? Because I knew at least you´d be safe that way. That was the only thing that mattered to me. But this? Seeing you throw it all away like that?"

He frantically tapped his head, his hands were shaking and he couldn't stop moving around. 

Mac scoffed confused and took a step towards him.

"Charlie, I´m sorry. It´s been 6 years, dude, I didn´t think you´d still be attached to the dress emotionally—"

Charlie shook his head and chuckled lightly, but his clogged up throat made it hurt. It was hard to breathe.

"Are you fucking kidding me, dude? You know _exactly_ how much that dress means to me!"

He walked over to Mac and touched the shoulder part of the fabric to look at it in detail.

Charlie scoffed in shock.

"You even washed away the bloodstains..."

Mac stared at him perplexed.

"Of course I did, why would I wear a dirty, bloody wedding dress for my wedding? That doesn't make any sense."

Charlie shook his head and walked a few steps back.

"You don´t understand. You didn´t just wash away the bloodstains, Mac.  
You washed away your past, you washed away our relationship.  
You washed away me..."

He turned around and stared at Mac. Tears had filled his eyes. His hands were pressing into his thighs, digging his nails deeper and deeper.

"I am just a dirty stain in your life, a reminder of your past that you're trying to forget."

"Charlie... You know that's not true!"

"Oh, is it?" Charlie choked out mocking. "I´m not important to you anymore. You have him now. You´re building up a new life, a new future. Without me."

Mac shook his head desperately.

"He could never replace you—"

"Oh, but he already did!", Charlie growled out.

There was an uncomfortable silence hanging over the room, pressing on Charlie´s lungs.

He cleared his throat.

"You know what? I paid for that dress, so technically it's still mine. I want it back. Give it back to me."

Mac instinctively grabbed onto the dress and stared at Charlie, not knowing if he was joking or not.

"What? I'm not giving you the dress, bro. Not today. Not on my wedding day."

His body got tense as Charlie stormed over to him and stopped inches from his face.

"You will give it to me now." he growled whispering.

Charlie's sudden deep voice crawled through every fibre of Mac's body. He closed his eyes for a second and tried to repress a twitch in his body.

Charlie slowly leaned over to his ear.

"I'd rather see it go up in flames than seeing you marry him in it."

Mac's eyes started watering. He pushed Charlie away from him.

"Dude, why are you trying to ruin the best day of my life? I thought we were friends!" he yelled out.

"And I thought we were more."

"Charlie—"

Charlie took a step towards Mac. His eyes were filled with tears, his vision was blurry.

"I´ve loved you since we were children, Mac." His voice was brittle. "I´ve always loved you. Even after all this time. You know this."

Mac sighed in despair.

"Yes, I know, but— "

Charlie furiously ran his hands through his hair.

"Fuck bro, you always told me you would marry me one day when we´re older. You fucking lied to me!" he cried out.

"No! I never lied to you!", Mac yelled in defence and pointed angrily at Charlie.

His expression immediately softened after he saw how Charlie flinched at his raised hand. Mac slowly lowered his arm and carefully walked over to him.

"Charlie... we were kids." he explained softly. " Just two stupid, little kids growing up in awful conditions. It was just some stupid escape fantasy to deal with all the bullshit. The idea that we could have a better life than we had at that time. A better life together. It was just some helpless, idiotic blabber by a 16-year-old, nothing more."

Charlie glared at him furiously.

"Well, not for me, okay? It was serious for me! I never doubted it for one second, not even after all these years."

He sank his head and looked to the ground.

"It was the only thing that made me keep going all these years." he mumbled, almost hoping Mac woudn´t hear him.

Mac´s face dropped.

"What are you implying?", he whispered.

Charlie softly kicked the air and turned his back.

"It doesn't matter—"

"No, it _does_ matter!"

Mac walked over to Charlie and grabbed his hands, turning him around to face him.

"Charlie, you know you can always talk to me. Remember when you were 15 and this dude 3 years older than you kept beating you up until I found you and pushed him off you? I swore I would always protect you, Charlie—"

Charlie kept staring at his shoe.

"I know..."

Mac tightened his grip around Charlie´s hands.

"And if I have to, even from yourself."

Charlie looked up and glanced at Mac.

"Don´t you think you´ll be too distracted doing stuff with Dennis? You wouldn´t even notice if—"

Mac dropped Charlie´s hands and pointed at him furious.

"Shut up! Don't do this. Don´t you dare finish that sentence, Charlie. You know I care about you, but I will not let you guilt-trip me."

Charlie nodded slowly. Tears were building up inside of him.

"You´re right. I´m sorry, that was stupid." He brought a hand up to his face and frantically rubbed his eyes. "I can´t think straight right now, everything´s so dizzy. It feels like everything´s crumbling around me. It feels like I just keep falling and falling and— "

Mac took a step forward and tried to lay his hand on Charlie's cheek, but Charlie pulled away. He waited for a second and tried another attempt, which was successful this time. He slowly stroked over Charlie's cheek, smudging his tears around.

He softly grabbed Charlie´s shoulders and met his eyes.

"It's okay. I'll catch you."

Mac paused and took a deep breath.

"Listen, Charlie. I'm sorry. I really am. But I am going to marry Dennis. He is my life now and I love him from the bottom of my heart. I love Dennis so much. He makes me laugh, he makes me cry, he comforts me when I´m angry or scared. He would do anything for me—"

"You know I would do the same for you!" Charlie choked out crying. His whole body was trembling, he couldn´t repress it anymore.

Mac sighed softly.

"I know, Charlie. And you will do all these things. But as a friend, nothing more. You'll have to accept that."

Mac broke loose and turned around to walk out.

"Mac..."

Mac stopped in his tracks.

"Yeah?"

"Wait. Come here."

Mac hesitated before he walked a few steps back until he stood in front of Charlie again.

Charlie stared down at his hands while he nervously fidgeted with them. He took a deep breath and didn't dare to look up.

"Kiss me." he whispered, almost inaudible.

Mac held his breath. He wasn´t sure if he had heard that right.

"What?"

Charlie bit his lip, trying to focus his breathing.

"K- kiss me. Please. One last time." His voice was trembling.

Mac got closer to him, softly pushing his head up with his fingers under his chin, forcing him to look into his eyes.

Charlie was shaking, his eyes constantly switching back and forth between Mac´s eyes and his lips. He could feel his own hot breath bouncing off mac's face.

" _Please..._ " he whispered begging.

Mac stared at him for a bit before he sighed softly and nodded.

He leaned over to his ear.

"Close your eyes, Char."

Charlie looked at Mac hesitantly before he closed his eyes and waited in anticipation.

His heart was racing, it felt like it would explode in his chest every second.

Mac took a deep breath.

He laid his hand on Charlie´s shoulder and leaned in, slowly getting closer and closer. 

Charlie's hands were shaking, his heartbeat got faster with every second that went by.

He could hear it in his ears, getting louder and louder.

Charlie could feel Mac's hot breath on his face.

Then suddenly, silence. The loud beating in his ears stopped.

Tears shot into his eyes.

His heart dropped as he suddenly felt a warm spot on his forehead.

It was supposed to be a soft gesture but it felt like Mac just punched him into his stomach.

Tears ran down Charlie´s face as he realized.

He understood.

Mac broke the kiss and pulled away. He reached out and wiped away a tear that was running down Charlie´s cheek.

He crooked a smile. "I´ve always hated to see you cry when you were little."

Mac´s smile slowly faded.

"Forgive me, Charles."

**Author's Note:**

> "I know that you like me, kiss me with your eyes closed  
> I know that's your favorite dress, set fire to it"  
> \- Your Favorite Dress  
> Lil Peep & Lil Tracy


End file.
